(Radio Iowa) – Some 80-thousand Iowans are now caregivers for more than 62-thousand loved ones who have Alzheimer’s or another dementia. One such caregiver, Lori Phillips of Madrid, leads an online support group and attends an in-person meeting as well. Phillips says the two groups have been a tremendous help, as she was struggling to cope with all of the responsibilities she’d taken on to care for her mother. “The virtual support group was what really spoke to me,” Phillips says, “because so many people are so busy, and being able to just jump online and be able to support one another and to share things we’ve learned was extremely helpful to me.” After Phillips’ father died more than two years ago, she moved her mother back to Iowa from Arizona and into a local memory care facility.

Phillips visits her several times a week to spend time with her and help with her care, including showering, dressing and eating. “The biggest challenge is the emotional toll that it’s taken on me and my family,” Phillips says. “Thank goodness for the caregivers and the nurses and all the people at the facility where she is, because I’ve had several meltdowns. I mean, actually sobbing, because it’s such a roller coaster. There’s good days and there’s bad days and I never know what I’m walking into.” Phillips’ virtual support group is among more than 60 such groups in Iowa through the Alzheimer’s Association. They provide resources and support to spouses, children, friends and family of loved ones living with dementia. Phillips says they discuss a wide range of topics revolving around the ups and downs of being caregivers.

“One time she pulled the fire alarm and I didn’t know how to react, and so I’m like, ‘Are you sure she did it? I want to see the video.’ And then it was like, ‘Okay, well, it says PULL on it,’ you know?” Phillips says. “Just all the phases I go through, from defensive to sad to an advocate to supporting to celebrating.” Phillips, a former school principal, says she’s learned a host of helpful tips from the Alzheimer’s Association to help her care for her mother, and now she helps other caregivers as a support group facilitator. “Getting to know my mom as the new mom who’s ill, and grieving the mom who she was is where I’m at right now,” Phillips says. “It’s just finding ways to make my mom happy now, but knowing her as a whole new person has been extremely helpful for my mental state.”

The Alzheimer’s Association offers local support and programs to families, along with a 24-7 Helpline at 800-272-3900. The next virtual support group Phillips will lead is scheduled for 4 P-M on Monday, HERE: bit.ly/virtualcaregiverSG